Suites Odyssey 7


A crash landing on a martian planet, an improbable cityscape crawling with derivative JPEGS, a trading floor run by industrious foxes…

This week we find ourselves back on Planet Three with our hero – Fib Newton – in his DESPERATE search for a replacement spacecraft. 

Will he find a way, impossible as it may seem, to continue the CRUCIAL journey of The Suites?

Or will he fail… and disappoint FATE ITSELF which has lent so much favor to the task??

Ashes fall like snow in a far-removed sector of Planet Three colloquially known as the “Down-Bad Doldrums”, it is here we find Fib Newton having wandered from the bustle of the city, his dwindling net worth ejecting him further and further out from the epicenter of meaningful activity and towards an ever expanding graveyard wasteland one could aptly describe as “the other side of the trade”.

“The air is so… salty…” Fib observes, mulling the flavor of being down so very, very bad in web 3 around his dry palette.

Passing through the haphazard pathways created by the gaps between mounds of digitally decaying matter, structure and ruin are indistinguishable.


Fib looks down and sees what used to be some kind of neon signage, its collapse so abrupt, so vertical, that the lettering somehow managed to remain legible through the destruction of the building it was once attached to… unfocusing his gaze, Fib reads “NE..O… NEX…U…S”

“Why is that so familiar…”

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the population of the Down Bad Doldrums is not so sparse – and although culturally one would imagine that being “Down Bad” would entail a distinct lack of resources this fact does not seem to impede the sheer volume of financially near-meaningless exchanges from occurring at a vicious pace between the ruin-dwelling folk.

In fact – the very relativity of being “Down Bad” is best expressed by the fact that beyond the outskirts of the Doldrums there exists an even more vacuous expanse of pure hopeless nothingness from which few have ever returned. It is called the “Down Horrendous Desert”.

Those in the Doldrums feel an endless suction into the Down Horrendous Desert, and trade meaningless trinkets with a religious fervor to avoid its hopeless vacuum. Few succeed.

…Therefore, you can imagine that Fib was having a hard time finding a decent spaceship amidst the tattered, makeshift marketplaces of the Doldrums. And although his small stack of $SUITE attracted crooked eyeballs and perverse avarice… there was simply nothing worth exchanging them for – not unless he were to risk being caught in the endless churn of paltry commerce.

“Man… I really should have stacked it up higher”

Entering suddenly into a JARRINGLY intact alleyway, Fib encounters a long darkness broken only by a single brightly glowing rectangle seemingly situated exactly halfway along one wall.

Silhouetted above the alleyway, a nearly collapsed high-rise with flickering signage reading “The Tower” looms against the ashen sky, once highly marketable but now utterly destitute. 

Below, the darkly ordered expanse invites Fib forward towards the glow of the lit doorway.

Standing before the doorway, Fib, gazing blankly into the slow churn of color and light. 
His entry feels… inevitable.

He steps forward through the frame and slips out of time and space.

“Wow what in the world is he thinking about here… he’s gonna call?” 

Fib Newton sits at a dark table, his hand is J♣4♥. 

The table, a hologram suspended in digital subspace, seats 8 players. On the table rests four cards in a row:

10♥ 10♣ 9♣ 3♥

Across from Fib sits a well composed member of the Big Blind Federation, famous for their probabilistic acumen and TIGHT AGGRESSIVE galactic politicking. He also happens to be in possession of a sleek, planet-hopping space vessel for which Fib now plans to make a DRASTIC ploy. 

Meeting Fib’s gaze evenly – he shoves.

Fib’s regard remains tensely on his opponent, there is no flicker of doubt detectable. He reaches out into his own meandering sense of game theory, flip flopping possibilities back and forth until he reaches a fugue state of total confusion. 

It is in this state that he declares this:

“All in”

The river flops – it’s the 9 of diamonds. Neither Fib nor his opponent hit – the rules dictate that a second river must be pulled. 

Sweat rolls down Fib’s temple in a terrifying slow bead. His vessels are locked up, down to his last dollar – nearly “Down Infinite”. Facing this fact in the moment is an impossibility, his opponent’s calmness already tearing through his hopes and dreams like a rabid grizzly bear – YET THE OUTCOME HANGS, UNREVEALED.

And when the ace of spades flops, his opponent’s composure falters.

He lays down an 8 7 suited. Fib’s hand hits the table second as he sits back, eyes too cool, victorious. Jack high.

“Sorry dude… I strike from the void.”

“…That was the dumbest call I’ve ever seen.”

“Where… are we?”


Fib rematerializes into a body similar enough to his own that the uncanny feeling that he may have died entering that glowing doorway fades in mere weeks.

Later, aboard the new vessel with THE SUITS painted haphazardly onto the side, he lights a cigarette and exhales deeply as he gazes through the viewport.

“…What a crazy game of poker, man.”


The Suites are ECSTATIC to bring our community the FIRST EVER $SUITE-powered poker tourney on the ILLUSTRIOUS Honest Poker platform. Honest Poker is a fantastic up-and-coming poker platform that is aiming at web 2 AND web 3 poker players around the globe. They offer multi-table tournaments, token games, and more… check them out here.

Suitizens are avid poker enthusiasts, and we are thrilled to be able to offer the first of hopefully MANY tournaments using $SUITE natively.

Let us reiterate – the $SUITE token will be THE web 3 sports and gambling token. Being hosted on a quality poker platform like Honest Poker is a major step towards this, and we can’t understate how excited we are to bring our holders yet another way to utilize our token towards this goal.

So… Interested in playing??

Entry is 1,111 $SUITE – tournament starts at 4pm est THIS FRIDAY!

Sign-up details coming SOON! So stay tuned.

EXPLODING towards our next planet on a narrowly-won new vessel – our HARROWING journey accelerates towards a conclusion of GALACTIC PROPORTIONS. 

Where this all leads, what comes next, and whether Fib will realize he made a grave typo on the side of the new spaceship remains to be determined… and yet the FAITH grows with every new development that ENDLESS BOUNTY lies beyond the veil of mystery.

The future and The Suites are merging, and will soon become so entwined as to render all doubt MEANINGLESS, all conquest INEVITABLE. 
Meanwhile, the mission is simple: Stack it up.


Fib Newton, CM

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